My Sixth Sense
What if I tell you that I have a sixth sense, but just now how you think it is
I see dead people — Cole Sear, The Sixth Sense, 1999
I wanna ask you something. If I say, the sixth sense, what do you think it is?
“Oh it is something about seeing ghost, like in the movie The Sixth Sense (1999) you quoted earlier!”
“Maybe it is about knowing the future! Like you can be a prophet for some reason”
Well, in my case, none of the above, although the second one is kind a close enough
Well, although it’s not that close, I can see future, but not all kind of future. I can’t know who will win the 2022 World Cup, or whether China will or will not be the next superpower country, or even who will win 2019 election in Indonesia. I can’t see all those things. So what kind of future then?
First of all, I don’t see future. I can’t even see them. I don’t even know what will exactly happen. I just feel it coming. The distinct feeling that feels like nothing else suddenly come to me every time something will happen. And second, I’m able to see only one specific topic of the future, death. Sounds creepy isn’t it?
Have you ever dreamed like you are being chased by somebody you don’t know who’s trying to kill you? How does it feel? Terrifying isn’t it? Or have you ever lost someone you dearest the most? How does it feel? Gloomy and powerless? Like something’s missing from your life? Yes. Those are exactly what I feel for the past few years.
For no reason I could feel gloomy like life’s gonna end, feel sad because something is missing from my life and I can’t do anything about it, frightened for a thread I don’t know and even sometimes feel angry for reasons that I don’t understand. And this is when things get tricky. I felt those feelings for a period of time only(usually short period like a week or less), and suddenly I see accident, somebody dies, or at least just a news that somebody just passed away. The weirdest part of it is I feel relieved and the feeling disappeared every single time somebody died.
It seems like I feel the sadness before the event happens
I know, I know. It is weird for some people, and it’s fine for some others. I just need to tell people. That every time I feel hopeless and powerless and want to die, doesn’t always mean that I want or will die. It just mean that I will see somebody dies
